|The fun starts with a disclaimer. Apparently it is a parody not based on any film, tv-series, or what have you, I though I detected a slight hint of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but hey, I could be wrong. Lighting and co-directing b.t.w. was by a J. W. Gacy. Funny?
The movie starts with a newsreport. A cemetary in Anus Texas was desecrated with blowup dolls complete with dildos, and several crypts were found filled up with sex-dolls, gee, I wonder what happened to the original occupants........
The real action starts in a van, occupied by Candy Apples, Tabitha Stevens, Ron Jeremy, Steve Hatcher and Kyle Stone. Ron\'s in a wheelchair, which I admit lifted my spirits appreciably :). Tabitha and Ron\'s granddad (yes, they\'re brother and sister) was burried on the cemetary, and Tabitha\'s worried something happened to his grave. After visiting the grave, driving through the desert, they notice a nasty smell. Ron immediately identifies it as coming from the dildo factory, where dear grandfather used to work. Then they spot a hitchhiker, and decide to help him out. Enter Dave Hardman,brilliantly cast as an inbred moronic member of a dildo factory family, complete with birthmark. He whips out some of his handywork, and then the object it was modeled after. Candy is immediately interested, and gives ol\' Dave a very wet blowjob. Meanwhile Ron has got out of his wheelchair, and started fucking Candy d/s. He\'s pretty nimble for an invalid. Change to d/s with Dave, b/j for Ron. Candy\'s getting rather
noisy by now. D/s anal (?) with Dave, who gives her quite a pounding. Then a double pussy penetration, with Dave in spoon, and Ron standing up. This is why I hate d/p\'s! All we get to see is two assholes banging away at something totally invisible. Next a conventional cowgirl d/p with similar problems. Dave cums in and around her mouth, ditto for Ron,after fucking her (bald) pussy some more. At last we get to read her tattoos, one above each (nipple pierced) breast. They read Candy and Apples. Afterwards Dave gets out his Instamatic, saying he takes a picture of every whore he fucks. He takes a picture of Ron, which confirms a lot of what I already suspected. Then he demands 20 bucks for his handywork. When they refuse he wants back his dildo from Ron, who finally gets it stuffed in his mouth. They kick him out of the van, and drive on.
Reviewer: Brandy Alexandre. Thanks to http://www.rame.net
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